Thursday, November 12, 2009

This just hasn't all sunk in yet . . .

I really don't think my situation has sunk in yet. I think it sneaks in every once in awhile. I tear up every once awhile when I think about it, then I pocket it away when I realize what is going on. I try and find a way to make this all the "new normal" and take pride in making all of this just part of my everyday life. But how can you?
A picture of my new PICC line in my upper right arm.

I got a PICC line put in on Monday. Everything went fine, but I was nervous leading up to it. I had to spend most of the day at the hospital for the PICC line insertion, then going to the ID clinic for my first dose of IV Vanco and doxycycline. The IV Vanco took 90 minutes! I wish I had brought a book or something though, because the time went by soooo slowly. I have not felt like reading lately, but maybe I should start ordering some books and start on them. Home Care came and saw me and said that all my equipment would be coming to the house. It arrived shortly after I got home. Medical supplies have taken over my house. Boxes and boxes. The bags of IV Vanco have taken over the fridge. I have an annoying little CADD IV pump that is easy to use (I've already found out the code and adjusted the times), but is really a pain to lug around.

The home care nurses are supposed to come and attach the IV CADD pump, change the dressings and the idea is to leave the IV attached to the PICC line for 24 hours and it is supposed to give me my two 12 hour doses, plus a TKVO dose during the day, but I can't handle having the little blood pusher attached to me all day, so I disconnect it and flush my own PICC line so I can try and live as normal as possible. I don't think the home care nurses have a problem with this (that I have encountered so far), since they know what I do for a living and they are too busy as it is, but I am trying to work as close to the surgery date as possible (a date I have not gotten yet).

I worked one shift with the PICC line in and I gave myself the Vanco during evening shift. An arm warmer helped hide the existence of the PICC line very sufficiently. My great co-workers changed my PICC line dressing for me also.

I am really, really sad and frustrated at the fact that I had to stop running Sunday. The pain is too great and you can feel the ripping through the skin of the chest, no matter what I wear on top of it. I am replacing that with speedwalking, but it just not seem to be the same. I just hope I can start running as quickly as possible after all of this is done. I am trying to keep up my milage just the same, but of course it's going to drop from the last month (my highest month and weeks ever were just previous). I would like to keep myself above 30K no matter what.

This is how far the stimulator has come out since my last dressing change.

PS: I woke up with absolutely no pain this morning! *cross fingers, cross fingers* I can hardly believe it. It's such a beautiful day outside too. I am sooooo very tempted to disconnect myself from the IV and go for a run. Really. Later on this afternoon though, when the IV is done and my next dressing change is done, I might just get into my running clothes and do another speedwalk around the neighbourhood and see how it goes and maybe do a light jog if things remain the way they are. I am just feeling so wound up I could really use a run for sanity.

1 comment:

Tracy said...

Gosh, that scar looks so painful. Take good care of yourself and I hope you hear back about your surgery date soon. Hugs.