Saturday, October 31, 2009
It was the worse news possible I could hear. I am actually taking it as well as can be expected, because I am trying not to look down the line at my future. One step at a time is all I can take right now.
I am sooooo grateful for the support of my family and friends. It takes some of the everyday stressors that you have to worry about with such a burden so much easier. I won't have to worry about Peanut, Latte or Stella or anything like that.
I plan on working right through the PICC line and antibiotics crap, but I obviously will not be able to work after the surgery and the post op period. Hopefully, I can get back ASAP after that post op stuff is over (I am hoping 4 weeks, but they let you back after 6 weeks). but that might not be up to me. I really hate how Occ Health would want to keep me out longer.
My running milage this week has been fantastic. I've been under so much stress since this has started and running long has really helped the stress and thinking about everything. I hope I can continue running for as long as possible, but I don't know how much I will be able to do after the surgery. I will probably keep up with walking though, until cleared for running.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Running is great. It was in the rain and almost soul cleansing. Unfortunately, when I came back, I get a voice mail saying my doctor wanted me to report to ER right away and I was to have a neurosurgery appointment (with a different surgeon than the first one) on Friday. Things are finally moving fast, but it is very overwhelming and I am not handling it very well. I have decided not to report to ER tonite, but will first thing in the morning. I have theatre tickets for tonite and we are going out to dinner and I want to have fun and forget this stress first.
I can't go to the doctor right now. I have no one to look after the dogs. I have to work. I have to run. And now this thing has chosen the most content I have been in a long time to attempt to come out of my chest like a little alien. I am so pissed off about this. Uggh. How long can I go trying to forget this is happening to me? At least until next week? I hope I have that long.
PS: The image is not of my actual breast. This is the lump the VNS has made underneath the tissue above the breast. Its like I actually have three lovely boobs. Uggh. That is actually drainage coming from the ulcer site. It is clear (thankfully) with a yellow tinge to it (for all my nursing friends).
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Today, I'm going to have my mid week longish run, tomorrow, I'm going to have a smaller distance run, then Friday I'm going to do my long run. I'm just going to do my regular run commutes on the weekend, and pick up again next week. Nice!