Sunday, May 31, 2009

Addendum to today . . .

I just want to start off again by saying how much seizures suck. Soul-suckingly suck. Just drains everything that is good and right with the world right out of the bottoms of the feet. Get me a knife - I'm about to perform brain surgery on myself (joke - I wish it was funnier).

I feel so blah. I had a very unmotivated run. I barely made it out there. I just made a deal with myself with just going outside and doing 20 minutes. I'm just mentally blah. I don't know why. Okay, maybe I do. I've achieved this Very Big Goal, and now, my head is going - so what? I'm still in the same place I was in before. I'm not an athlete. I don't have this beautiful new life. I'm still taking all these pills. I still have seizures. Nobody is in the kitchen cooking my supper right now. A big cloud did not open up and all my problems are still in my lap. I guess the post-race let down has begun.

I also did something a little stupid. My bangs were getting a little long and I cut them (I always cut my own bangs), but I cut them so short that I look like a Vulcan now. Great. Maybe I should give Spock a call.

So my solution is just to Keep. It. Simple. If I have to, just go for a 20 minute run a day - until I get out of this funk in my head. Stop thinking negatively. Things happen. Continue on. Set new, small goals. Smile. :)


Tracy said...

Carrie, a 20 minute run is great. If you can get out there, you've done something wonderful for yourself. Hugs to you.

Ted said...

I love your sense of humor. A 20 minute run is perfect. Keep it simple. I hear you. I know seizure sucks !! Use your blog as your outlet and I will continue to support you.