Monday, January 7, 2008

Cabin Fever Hits Again . . .

Hopefully, this is the last week of "house arrest." As you know, the neuro has said I shouldn't venture outside unaccompanied, which makes for a difficult time since I live in a house by myself with my two dogs. I can't run errands, grocery shop, go to Starbucks, go for walks with the dogs, and get rid of boredom without the charity of a few good friends, of which I am forever grateful. After visiting the neuro last Thursday and getting the stimulator turned on, I wasn't taken off "house arrest" because it will take awhile to come on.

The neuro underplayed the effect that the stimulator will have on my seizures in the short term and was underplaying the effect it might have on the long term, he said, to not get my hopes up. I thought that was a big downer because I have been waiting for this new stimulator for months and have been suffering from so many seizures. With it being on for a few days, I have felt my mood pick up noticeably, but I have had two seizures this week, which is disappointing. I hope that things will improve gradually. It frustrates me because I want to get back to work right away, but I'm still where I was before, except for a sore neck and left shoulder where the incision is.

What added to the injustice I've been feeling is that I didn't get paid last Friday from the hospital. I phoned and wanted to find out how they wanted me to live. I guess the paperwork that they were supposed to fill in for my sick leave wasn't done in time (even though they had since November to do it) so now I am sitting here waiting for a massive bureaucracy to pay me what they owe me (I won't hold my breath). You pay into a system a large amount of money each paycheque, and you then find out that they don't want to give it to you when you need it. It is the absence of a social safety net that gets me. If I was unemployed and not paying into anything, I would get my money faster, but I've been paying into short-term and long-term disability and EI for so long and it becomes unavailable because of stupid screw ups from retards who shouldn't be working in human resources. Oh well, it's supposed to be fixed soon – but like I said before – I'm not holding my breath.

As soon as I am taken off "house arrest," I hope to spend my time visiting some museums and art galleries, waiting for approval to go back to work. I am just itching to get out and do something – I don't really care what.

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