Thursday, October 25, 2007

October 25th, 2007.

Today is the day when I found out that epilepsy could actually put me in the poor house. I have in the past been off work for extended periods of time, but have been actually covered by work. But today, I ran against some of the most ineffectual, uncaring people that work in the hospital that are actually working in "human resources" and "occupational health." Well, they make me join a programme a couple of years ago, to be more compassionate with employees with disabilities, and that has gone out of the window. It's the hospital's fault I am on this extended leave, and yet they want me to sign up for EI and LTD now. That sucks. I'm just going to wait until Monday until my manager is actually there to answer a phone and deal with this. I'm supposed to be "stress-free" and the people that are telling me this are causing me the most stress - doctors that cancel my surgery and then tell me to remain as stress-free as possible and these hospital arseholes that want me to return to work "safely" by causing me this crap. Oh well, isn't that the manager's job?

Finished the book The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman. Although the premise of the book is imaginative, it really makes you think about what we have really done to the earth and how we can fix it. Some parts really make you think that all we have done has resulted in a hopeless situation, and some chapters really offer some hope. I have been watching the two part series on CNN, Planet in Peril and it has been giving me "environmental depression" also. It all seems so overwhelmingly hopeless, but when you read about some of the local victories, it gives you pause that if everyone just does their small part, a local victory can add up to big changes everywhere else.

Well, that is the end of the little bit of preaching today. I have never been good about that.

I had a rough day after a little oasis of good days. Had a big seizure this morning and has really made the rest of today pretty useless. Have a really bad post-seizure migraine and had to take some Maxalt, which has made me, or the migraine, really nauseated and dizzy. There goes 24 hours, right down the toilet. Autumn is my favourite month and I am seeing it through my window going by without anything from me. Not sure if Autumn really cares, but I do! I hope that this big seizure was just the result of having almost three seizure-free days, and I will return to having a few more days of feeling okay. I seem to do okay when I am quiet and remaining peacefully occupied with something busy but lame.

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